ASD and ADHD affects each person differently and there are key differences and similarities. As someone with both, I see and reflect how my journey has been based on an early diagnosed autistic child and a late diagnosed GAyDHDER from a Peer perspective.
ADHD has a reputation for an overlap in the drugs and alcohol misuse findings. Autism not as much and in fact there are stereotypes about Autism that make us look like the type that would never let ourselves get in this situation. The reality is that there are a lot of undiagnosed people who suffer from substance misuse that are autistic as well as having ADHD.
So how does my Neurodiversity affect me? I will go into both. This Blog does not excuse me from my bad ideas, I take responsibility.
ADHD – Impulsivity, executive dysfunction, overwhelm, hyperactivity, FOMO, change-seeking, emotional dysregulation, quick decision making.
ASD – stuck in routines, lack of structure, repetitiveness, being stuck in my ways, sensory overload, social vulnerabilities.
Both – Hyperfixation, Burnout, anxiety, masking.
Being AuDHD we have the impulsivity that makes us decide to reach for the alcohol or other substances as an option we think is benefitting us. We are actually making an executive decision to consume something that affects our behaviours and for me especially, my productivity.
When I have a bottle (or more) of wine, I am convinced I am relaxing. The reality is that although my mind thinks otherwise, I am giving myself a paper-round or a workout at the gym without the benefits! Too many times I have returned home and the first thing I do is open the wine without a wellbeing meeting with my brain on the correct decision that needs to be made.
When it late into the evening and ive consumed alcohol, I brainstorm and I’d say I over-brainstorm – sounds good right? Not when I’m not brain dumping. My mind is hyperfixated on my positive thoughts and im thinking of my ideas and the differences they will make in a years time and im not writing these things down despite it being minimal effort. But when im so fixated on my thoughts, switching off from realising and imagining to being productive jotting down on a notepad or typing on my mac book is like trying to walk my dog in the rain (she hates it!). When I do drink in the evenings at home, you can bet your life the night will end with certain music videos played on youtube until the early hours of the following morning.
Next im going to routine and change. ASD has a reputation for loving routine and structure and ADHD for wanting change. I LOVE change, I prefer structure over non-structure and I wouldn’t say I like routine however I do value the benefits it can have on my lifestyle.
So how does this topic affect alcohol dependency, where do I start? Being ADHD we want the change, we want the rewards, we want what may seem like a fantasy to be a reality so we can evolve like pokemon and be indestructible or whatever we want. We want that change as we constantly seek improvements from what we are currently in.
A major barrier we have is that we are in battle with our minds because we are stuck in a routine. We are stuck in our ways that we may enjoy, but there are things dragging us back like our second mind wanting to stay in it, executive dysfunction, every baby-step feeling pointless, every chore feeling like 10. When it becomes a regular thing, it becomes a routine.
Getting out of a bad routine and into a new positive routine is so much harder than we realise.
In my opinion, the way to get out of one routine and into another is to find your own baby steps that feel worthwhile and achievable.
One thing that annoys me when people are trying to be helpful is ‘why don’t you just have 1 or 2’, this annoys me as minds cannot work like this (well mine certainly can’t!). A tactic I did try was an alcohol reduction app where you log how much alcohol you’ve had. I think its a fantastic idea and I did download it but guess how long I used this for? Less than a week. I was also scared of what it would say or do if I had a bad week, such as display an unhappy face emoji. And this reminds me of a trigger. When people used to ask me how much alcohol I consume on a regular basis and I responded as I am an open book, things such as ‘oh my god’ or ‘wow’ it isn’t helpful regardless of whether they were acting intentionally insensitive or not.
Another thing that really makes things worse when people are legitimately trying to be helpful is when people say how much money I could have saved for other luxuries. This makes me think of it like a tax rebate I cannot claim back.
Another failed babystep was attending support groups with others, this didn’t help as I struggled in group scenarios and waiting my turn was stressful.
I decided to create my own strategy about how I can reduce my alcohol intake sustainably. I reflected back to the period when I had almost 2 months of no alcohol and brainstormed how I coped. This was to combine an abstinence strategy with a reduction strategy so I can reduce my alcohol consumption sensibly and sustainably.
Here are 2 coping strategies that really have helped me reduce my intake
Non alcoholic drinks – What made me enjoy alcohol was the taste, so I needed to find a soft drink I enjoy and fill my apartment with it. Alcohol free Corona certainly did the trick, when chilled it was the perfect beverage for a sunny day! The taste of the drink quenched my first and eliminated the need for me to give myself excuses to get alcoholic beers or wine.
Start later. This may sound easier said than done, especially if you work from home. When I commuted into my day job and I had a stressful day, I would return home with a chip on my shoulder and I would reward myself with booze. The first thing I would do is pour myself a glass of wine, finish most of it and then walk the dog. I would then finish the bottle whilst trying to catch up on my house chores and life-admin, although I wouldn’t get much done 😂. And when I started to work from home, there was too much opportunity for wine o’clock to start earlier, especially when I have a mini-tesco underneath me.
The first thing I realised I needed to stop doing was opening the booze as soon as I finished work no matter how much grafting I put into a working day.
When I finished the dog walk, I would then buy the wine. However I would deliberately buy a bottle that wasn’t chilled. This may sound silly but why did I choose to do this – because if I drank a glass of warm wine not only would I think ‘yuck’ but also ‘what a waste of Gavi’. By putting the wine in the fridge and waiting for it to get cold, this delayed the start time of wine o’clock even longer. If I wasn’t prepared to wait for a chilled glass of Gavi – there was always alcohol free corona!
These above small steps have enabled me to cut back sensibly without abstaining completely from alcohol. I have noticed a big improvement in my productivity, far less doomscrolling (another dangerous habit) and less stress in the mornings.
I advise anyone whether Neurodivergent or Neurotypical to have a coping strategy plan that works for them, deciding what baby steps are for you. Be kind to yourself and remember self-care isn’t a reward, it’s a necessity. Create your own rewards and remember you deserve them!
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